Filipino Martial Arts

Pekiti Tirsia Kali - sticks, knives, whips, machetes, spears, blowguns, darts, poles, feet, knees, hands and elbows.

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Name: island_man
Location: Manila, Philippines

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Just to state the obvious

In case someone gets any funny ideas about copying the design of the mini ginunting, I'm informing everyone that the profile and design of this weapon is copyrighted to me. You have been warned.

The mini ginunting is still under development and its been a little delayed since we're also developing a number of other weapons as well, but things are picking up. I don't want to spoil the surprise for those who have emailed me about buying this knife, but the time we've spent on finalizing this is mostly on getting the forging of the metal just right. The material is definitely not what one expects for a Filipino weapon, and I'm sure the knife fans who read this blog will find this weapon truly unique.

Stay tuned!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A visitor’s guide to practicing FMA in the Philippines

It really warms my heart to see foreigners coming over to learn my country’s fighting systems. I’m not just talking about Pekiti Tirsia but Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) in general. The internet has triggered a renaissance of sorts in FMA, making information available to more people and getting students to visit the country to learn it at its source. Of course the internet has also brought its own set of irritant to the martial arts in general and to FMA in particular but that’s for another post.


I won’t go through the details on the usually travel tips on coming over and staying in the country. You can get that from Lonely Planet and countless other sources. Instead, I’ll give info on what those source don’t tell you about coming to the Philippines to study Filipino Martial Arts.

First, let’s get a myth out of the way. Filipino Martial Arts is not available at every street corner over here. The systems are still a bit underground, mostly unappreciated by the general public and one has to know precisely where to look for it. Tae Kwon Do and other foreign arts are more accessible to the average Filipino than their own martial arts. That’s sad but it’s the unvarnished truth. For many Filipinos, the only exposure that they have had to FMA is probably a class or two in high school or college and that may have perpetuated that idea that FMA is only practiced with sticks. So going around Manila looking for FMA by asking cab drivers is not the most efficient way to get the training you’re looking for. The cabbie may know a school or two, but the quality of training will be up to you to determine. It may be different in Cebu though but I’m not sure. Strangely, I’ve traveled all over this country and the one city I haven’t visited is Cebu. I should though; it’s a hotbed for FMA and I hear the food is delicious.

I suggest you visit some excellent online source of FMA info to get contact details. I highly recommend FMA Forums. It’s run and inhabited by a lot of Filipinos who do FMA in the country as well as top practitioners from all over the world. Discussions will sometimes be conducted in Tagalog, blended with English here and there but a polite inquiry will get you the information you need.

If you’re already studying a particular system, contact the national organization for your style and they can give you contact information of clubs and teachers here. If you’re a new to FMA and want to learn it here, I suggest you do research on what system interests you and then plan your visit. Arriving in Manila looking for something to learn is not a plan I would recommend.

For training the best time to visit, weather-wise, is around January to March. That’s among the coolest months of the year and is right before the brutally hot summer months of April and May. The monsoon or rainy season is from July to November and can be uncomfortable if your not use to tropical downpours and high humidity.

If you use a stick longer than 28 inches, I suggest you bring your own training weapons. Getting good quality sticks at custom lengths here is not going to be easy. Ironically really good quality sticks are already somewhat hard to come by so I suggest you bring your own. As you practice here you’ll find the sources of suitable sticks and you can always hoard a batch for your return flight. If you’re new to FMA, the school can refer you to their source of sticks.

Obviously you need to check in your FMA weapons for the flight but call the airline first to make sure there won’t be any problems. For God’s sake do not travel with edged weapons, especially balisongs. If your instructor tells you to bring one, make sure you’re not breaking any laws by traveling with them. For that, I suggest you call the Philippine embassy or consulate in your country.

Humility is an absolute requirement. Don’t come over and try to impress the locals with what you know, what you do, what you’ve done or who you’ve train with. I’ve seen that from some visitors and it irritates me and it’s safe to assume other Filipino FMA practitioners find it annoying as well. Instead, visit with a willingness to experience FMA from a different perspective, to learn it from the land that created it. A know-it-all attitude will just make you unwelcome to the people you train with, at the very least.

Relax and don’t live by a rigid schedule. We Filipinos have an often irritating habit of not being too particular about time, schedules and plans. The same applies to bus and ferry schedules, travel agendas and yes even FMA. If your instructor decides to be a little late to class or changes the training curriculum without prior notice, don’t be offended and alarmed. I for one don’t tolerate “Filipino Time” i.e. failure to understand the concept of punctuality. But I do understand it as part of how we are and so should you. So kick back and let things slide a bit.

We Filipinos are a social bunch so take time to socialize with your fellow students after class. A few drinks, a little karaoke and some strange food made from animal parts you never considered edible goes a long way toward moving from “visiting foreigner” to “one of the guys”. Avoid getting stinking drunk but always be willing to lose some dignity by singing some cheesy tunes. More Filipinos have gotten beaten, shot and stabbed after drunkenly crooning “My Way” than many other causes of death so avoid that little ditty.

One popular method of drinking here is the infamous “tagay”. Everyone drinks from the same glass, which is refilled continuously and passed around to be emptied by everyone involved. It guarantees that everyone gets totally hammered at the same time and helps break the ice between you and your fellow students. San Miguel beer in its many forms is popular in the cities and large towns but in the provinces and in smaller towns gin and rum are their preferred intoxicants.

Try to finalize your training fees and other details before coming over. Expect to pay more than the locals. You may find that unfair but realize that you’re coming over to train may mean being personally taught by the club’s instructor or have changes done to the club’s practice to accommodate you. It’s up to you to determine if the training fee is fair or worth what you paid for.

Be smart about staying healthy. The Philippines is a third world Asian country so prepare for the nasties. Only drink bottled water and only have drinks with ice when dining at decent restaurants. Get all your shots and get ready for mosquitoes. Street food is delicious and popular with a lot of FMA practitioners I know but be aware that double dipping in the sauces exposes you to the risk of disease. If you want to try street food, choose the vendors that serve them on little cardboard trays. Usually they have the sauces in jars with spoons and discourage dipping the food in them. What exactly is this street food? Let me put it to you this way: not a single part of a chicken is thrown away in this country as garbage.

But don’t let me discourage you. Eating is an important part of our culture and you’ll discover that we have a delicious culinary tradition to match. Try the local food in restaurants and you’ll discover the delights of traditional Filipino cooking. I recommend “kare kare” and “crispy pata”.

There’s no other way around this next tip so here goes..

Bathe and bathe often, once in the morning and again before sleeping. It may be ludicrous and insulting for me to advise you on personal hygiene but there’s a good reason for it. Caucasians and “Westerners” (Americans, Europeans, etc.) in general have a reputation among Filipinos for body odor and that reputation is not completely unfounded. I’m not saying that all foreigners will start to smell halfway through a class – I’ve trained with a few Americans and only one or two were “ripe” - but it’s happened often enough to become a familiar problem for Filipinos who have trained with foreigners.

You may be offended by this insinuation if you think you don’t smell but Filipinos have learned the hard way that Westerners men and women often exude an…interesting…odor regardless of race, gender, nationality, body weight or any other physical attribute once they arrive here. It’s probably the humidity, and which may explain why we Filipinos have this obsession with bathing.

Take it from me, unless you prefer to practice alone, bath as often as possible, don’t wear the same training clothes twice in a row without washing them and use deodorant. If your practice partners advise you to bathe with “tawas” (alum), they’re telling you something you need to deal with.

As with all cities, Metropolitan Manila has safe areas and places which you must avoid. Your fellow students can tell you the parts of town you should stay away from. If your school happens to be in those parts, then I suggest you make it a habit to travel to and from the training venue with your fellow students, as many of you as possible. Strength in numbers, I always say. Most probably the school is known in the area and the local thugs will leave you alone.

If you do travel to the provinces to train or just to see the sights, I suggest you don’t wear anything remotely military looking like olive drab cargo pants. Trust me, you don’t want your jeepney stopped by a rebel checkpoint while heading out to see an obscure style in the middle of nowhere and have to explain that you’re a tourist and not an American military agent.

Metropolitan Manila is a city of 11 million people and covers 636 square kilometers. Depending on where you’ll be staying, the experience of staying in this metropolis can range from thrilling to ghastly, which is why I suggest you take time out to travel outside of the city to see the best of the country. Don’t take a trip to the countryside to seek out more FMA styles, but rather just to take in the essence of our culture and understand it. Be a tourist but see it from the eyes of someone who already studies a part of the culture, a part that remains hidden and misunderstood by many Filipinos. Go off the beaten path and see the rest of the country that isn’t in the tourist maps. For example, experience village life among the mountain tribes of the Cordillera. Or take a boat ride around Northern Palawan, and chose an island to explore. Watch how they gather tuba (coconut wine) and taste it fresh from the tree. Attend a town fiesta and discover why we are known for our hospitality and home cooking.

The county has so much to over, so many facets to experience. If you’re already studying Filipino Martial Arts, consider yourself lucky. You’re already seeing our culture from a perspective many of us do not understand.

Monday, April 21, 2008

A tool for edge awareness

A few months ago one of the Force Recon Marines who makes training weapons dropped by our club with some plastic ginuntings. I got two of them right away.

Each one is 60 cm long and weighs about 250 grams. I’m not sure what plastic it’s made from, but I can tell you its extremely tough. Tuhon Gaje used my pair in a class at our club recently, when he demonstrated florete with lots of weapon to weapon contact. Needless to say, if it can take getting whacked against each other by the heavy hands of Tuhon Gaje, its tough enough for me.

I instantly realized the training potential this tool presents, despite its light weight. I’ve long suspected that practicing with an edged training tool will make me more precise with my strikes and it has done that. The difference between using this and a stick is that when I practice with a stick I have to continuously remind myself how the weapon will contact the target and how I need to keep it aligned, edge-wise, toward it to make a hack or slash. This problem is most pronounced in panastas (upward slash), because I have to twist my wrist to get the “edge” of the stick to face forward, perpendicularly to the target. With the training ginunting, I know exactly how I need to position the weapon to get the edge forward. The training ginunting also gives me feedback as to how the weapon is tracking throughout the strike.

I for one don’t mind the light weight. I’m going to develop a dulled ginunting for training anyway and this plastic practice weapon already serves its purpose, as a tool for developing edge awareness. I’ve had my share of tendonitis after training with pipes early in my PTK education and I’m a little wary of making the same mistake, of going crazy with heavy sticks and pipes in training. So for now, this is the tool of choice of getting edge aware for blade use.




The mini ginunting knife: a glimpse of things to come

A little project of mine is to develop stainless steel forging techniques for making corrosion resistant ginuntings and knives for the Force Recon Marines. The current blades being used by the troops are made of tough steel but prone to corrosion without constant maintenance. The solution is to forge the blades from the right type of stainless steel and creating the process to do that at the correct temperature for the material. This little beauty is one of our prototypes, hand forged from cutlery grade stainless steel, the same type used for making industrial cutting tools for meat processing. The irony of this hasn’t escape me.

The exact type of stainless steel is a secret I’m keeping to myself for now. We’re still working on being consistent with the forging temperature and I’m going to have this blade tested for hardness. Hopefully it will meet our intended Rockwell hardness for actual production.

Enough about that boring metallurgy stuff. You want to know more about this weapon right? The knife is essentially a mini ginunting. The blade length is 15 cm from hilt to tip, the edge is 13.5 cm, with an overall length of 27 cm. The handle and scabbard is kamagong hardwood . The curved edge was already sharp when I got it and I honed it to shaving sharpness. The curve gives the blade scary cutting ability, like a karambit but the straighter profile still makes it suitable for stabbing as well. I’m already very careful with handling blades and I almost cut myself while washing it after sharpening.

The profile of the reverse edge is not as slim as the concave edge, but it’s still quite sharp. If I back cut with this and it connects, it will still slice through the target very easily. When I first got the knife the handguard kept me from resting my thumb along the spine of the blade. So I had the handguard trimmed and had serrations added to the spine. My thumb is a little longer and I want to add more serrations to the thumb rest. The handle’s pommel is designed to provide a convenient thumb rest as well of the knife is held in pakal.

The balance of the weapon is excellent. Its balance point is at the handguard and its light weight, about 135 grams, makes it a joy to practice solo knife drills with. The knife is full tang, with the blade extending through the length of the handle. The scabbard is also made from kamagong.

I’ve been asked if this knife will see production soon. The design is definitely interesting, but still needs some improvements here and there. If we do start making these, I want to offer them with Kydex sheaths. Stay tuned for more details.


Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Defanging the snake

The concept of “defanging the snake” - striking the arm of the attacker to disable it and make him drop the weapon – is found all over the Filipino Martial Arts. It’s been described as a merciful strategy of sparing the opponent’s life, but it is also a brutal tactic which quickly ends the fight and leaves the victim helpless to the coup de grace that will surely follow.

At largo and media range in PTK it’s called “non weapon contact”, a direct strike to the opponent’s body, which at those ranges will be the opponent’s arms. Lately the defanging the snake concept has also taken a bit of beating (pun intended) from by those who can’t appreciate its practicality. The skepticism of the concept often originates from the viewpoint of MMA or the grappling systems. In that light, defanging the snake seems to be just another traditional martial art concept or myth that has been disproven under the grounding and pounding of octagon matches. Ironically the concept does exist in MMA; probably the best example of defanging the snake for them would be leg kicks, a tactic derived from Muay Thai. In the context of empty handed combat, it has be agued that defanging the snake is not practical or worthwhile, since the body and all the points to hit on it are within easy reach.

Personally I think that defanging the snake makes perfect sense with the use of weapons, particularly in FMA. Keeping out of range of the attack is a wise strategy in edged weapon combat. As the gap between opponents is strategically bridged in combat, the first body parts that will most probably come into range of the weapons first are the arms. It’s easier to cut an arm at a distance than to close in and try for a neck or head strike, and having to contend with the opponent’s response in the process. The arms are vulnerable to fight-finishing cuts, if tendons and nerves are shredded and arteries are sliced open.

Applying the concept to empty handed combat, particularly for hand strikes, can be tricky to do but not at all impossible to pull off. A well directed strike to a nerve point can numb an arm enough to make it unusable. Recently during practice I was hit on my right hand and it went completely numb. The strike wasn’t particularly powerful or fast, but it obviously hit the right spot. I could barely hold the stick and if it was a fight to the death, I know I would be in deep trouble. That same spot is easily accessible in a fight, either by accident or by design.

Defanging the snake is self evident when practicing with knives. An oft quoted bit of wisdom concerning knife dueling is that one gets badly hurt and the other dies. Practice with knives long enough and you’ll realize that the arms will be the first to be nicked and cut, and in so many gruesome angles. It’s not because of some exotic knife design or technique, but rather simple proximity: the arm extending the weapon to attack will the closest in range to the opposing weapon. With blades zipping all over the place, it’s not difficult to understand that the arm holding the weapon will be a target.

This is a simple enough concept and one that was surely arrived at by other cultures. To dismiss the concept in light of the current popularity of controlled empty handed combat is myopic at best or worse, extremely dangerous. An empty handed defender will be expecting a direct attack to the body and will fail to consider defending his arms from the blade. A devastating slash to key tendons or an artery will mean death to the defender. With edged weapons, one cannot make slight mistakes.

Friday, October 26, 2007

The nature of knife wounds 2

One of the most common misconceptions I noticed regarding most knife training is the continued belief in the one stab – one kill myth. One attacker thrusts toward the defender, who respond by either evading or deflecting the knife while replying with a stab or slash to the attacker, who simply stands in place while the knife is planted cleanly onto the targeted spot on his body.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, people hardly die instantly from a single knife wound. I can think of less than 5 spots on the body that will instantly stop an attacker when hit with a knife. Those target points are not easy to get to, which is actually a testament to how well our bodies have somehow evolved to protect these vital points.

To get to those targets without getting your own vital points attacked requires considerable skill and finesse. So that leaves a whole range of secondary targets that are worthwhile points to hit in a knife fight but will not result in an instant kill. What I mean by “instant kill” is the immediate cessation of the attacker’s ability to attack again, regardless of is mental state, adrenaline or “recreational pharmaceuticals” in his body.

A stab to the heart is a good example; doing this will certainly result in immediate shutdown on the part of the attacker. But getting to the heart, driving the knife passed the ribcage puts the defender well within range of the attacker’s arms, legs and weapons.

Which is why there’s a lot of truth in the axiom that there are only two outcomes in a knife fight: one side gets badly cut and the other dies. There’s just no other way around it. The best one can hope for is that proper training, which will drill the use of the other hand - the one without the weapon - and proper positioning that opens up the opponent’s vital points while shielding the defenders’, will keep the damage down and end the fight quickly in favor of the attacker.

One exception to my disbelief in the one stab – one kill mindset is strategic; the defender may be better off just getting a clean shot in and running from the altercation. Although running from a fight is a great option – one that makes a lot of sense against people with knives – one has to be prepared to the absolute worst case scenario, which is a drawn out knife fight, a duel. Especially when running is not an option, My current knife training has been for the “cut and run” scenario, as well as learning to deal with the dueling scenario that is prevalent in FMA. The choice is clear cut (pardon the pun): why stick around when all I want to do is create an opening for me to escape?

It’s a lot like Lego

When I explain my understanding of Filipino Martial Arts to those studying other systems, the best way to illustrate the differences is to describe FMA as Lego.

If you examine FMA as compared to a vastly different system like Aikido, FMA is from another world. The way FMA has been taught to me lacks the ordered structure of a Japanese system. There are no ranks or belts to strive for, no “techniques” to perfect at well defined skill levels. Instead, you’re driven to work on skills or attributes. Ranks in my system are not that important. What does matter is your ability to use what you’ve learned.


In Aikido, you are given a set of attacks and the techniques to neutralize them, and you practice them until you’re able to perform them well enough to move on to a new rank. In FMA – again, as it’s taught to me – you learn angles and the bits and pieces needed to address attacks from those angles. The instrument of attack can be a knife, stick, machete, spear, a arm or leg, it doesn’t really matter since you consider direction and range first rather than the instrument of attack. The response can range from the simplest slip or tap to a series of joint breaks, strikes and a takedown.


An Aikidoka is trained to respond with a choice of techniques, but here lies the key word: techniques. In aikido, you’re not specifically instructed to take the choice of responses to an attack and break them down and assemble them to make your own response. Whereas, in FMA, that’s precisely how you’re trained to think in combat. Instead of responding in a preset pattern, you need to be flexible enough to make your own strategy and technical responses on the fly.


The best way to understand this is to think of FMA skills as Lego bricks. The abilities and attributes you pick up are the bricks and as you progress you pick up more bricks to add to your collection. As you get more bricks, you also learn to assemble them. Rather than play with a complete toy, literally with all the bells and whistles, you need to make you own toy from bits and pieces you’ve gathered.


This is why there are so many different FMA systems, and yet all have some similarities and address similar threats. Each of those systems are made by people who picks up their own Lego bricks and made their own “toy”, based on what they prefer and what they felt suited them. Give children a whole box of Lego pieces, have them build a house, and you’ll see that each of them already has individual ideas on what a house should have and look like. Yet by and large they are all functional houses.


In comparison to FMA’s “technical flexibility” (for lack of a better word at the moment), an Aikido technique like shihonage ( four corner throw) is an entire “toy”, much like a Tonka truck which works well with other Tonka toys. It’s a neat and workable toy, but I can’t take it apart to make a new one. Whereas in FMA, a simple parrying deflection in just one piece of a grand puzzle. That in itself works but it will work even better in combination with other pieces. Only after years of aikido does the practitioner appreciate techniques as components; as a student you simply do the techniques and master them, you’re not encouraged to be creative with what you’ve learned. However in FMA, creativity is encouraged even at the basic levels. You learn fundamental responses to attacks and you already see that they are in fact simply pieces. I myself was seeking structure in FMA when I began studying it and only after a lot of struggling did I finally understand the futility of searching for something that just isn’t there.


This seemingly madding method of martial study is in fact the best way to deal with the wide variety of threats FMA throws at the student. From sticks you transition to knives and empty hands. By considering angles instead of instrument or method of attack, the problem is somewhat easier to dealt with. However, this approach is in itself not easy. It precludes that the FMA student have the technical and mental flexibility to adapt to the circumstances. That adaptability is accomplished by having the technical repertoire that will allow the student to fluently translate a knife evasion into deflection of a punch. You can’t respond with what you think is the best choice if you don’t have a lot of options to choose from. FMA may present an excellent solution for weapon and empty handed attack and defense, but it’s not an easy path by far.


Ironically the Samurai had the same attitude toward combat. The most highly skilled among them were able to use more than just their swords. In battle they would be able to pick up any weapon and use it to slaughter their enemies. I’m seen more than a few similarities between classical jujitsu and some of their weapons techniques that hint that they also practiced a similar “Swiss Army knife” approach to fighting.


But the samurai were a dedicated warrior class, having no other responsibilities in that society but to wage war, their weapons now as relevant to the modern age as medieval halberds are to assault rifles. On the other hand, the Filipino warrior was a farmer or fisherman in peace and a guerrilla fighter in times of war, with weapons and fighting methods that are still highly relevant, in the hands of World War II guerrillas and Philippine Special Forces fighting in the jungles of Mindanao today.

Monday, August 27, 2007

A weapon with an image problem

Among the weapons used by Filipino, none is as controversial and shrouded in infamy as the balisong. The history of the knife is well known to Filipino Martial Art (FMA) people and I won’t bother going through the well won facts.

What may surprise foreign FMA practitioners, especially those who have never been to the Philippines, is just how common and reviled this weapon has become. Because of its common use as a mugger’s weapon, getting caught with one by the police is a guaranteed trip to the nearest police outpost for further questioning and probable arrest. It’s fair to say that it easier to get away with having a conventional folding knife than it is to be caught with a balisong.

The notoriety of the balisong is unfortunate, since it detracts from the weapon’s many excellent attributes. By design, the knife’s blade is held in place by both sides of the handles clamping onto the blade's tang, making the balisong one of the sturdiest folding knife designs ever made. The only way the blade will ever collapse onto the hand holding it is if the handle completely shatters or the blade breaks at the tang, which is highly unlike given the metal construction of balisong handles and the hard steel used for the blades.

The knife folds into its own handle. This makes the folded balisong quite compact. It also allows the weapon to be used as a pasak (dulo dulo, tabak maalit). A folded balisong can be damage even before it’s used as originally intended. A skilled balisong user can even use one side of the handle as a whip if he’s caught in a bind before fully opening the knife.

Nothing is perfect and the balisong does have its drawbacks. It takes some practice to open one under the stress of an actual self-defense situation. I’m not even talking about learning fancy ways of deploying the knife. Under extreme stress fine motor skills are quickly dumped in favor of gross motor skills, and flipping open a balisong when attacked requires a degree of finesse.

Of course we end up at negative image of the balisong and how it deters the FMA practitioner from carrying one in the Philippines. The decision to carry one in the face of the risk it entails is really up to the user. The risk of being arrested just can’t be disregarded; it’s a reality that has to be taken seriously.

This is all too bad for what is an excellent knife design, one that will always be identified with the Filipino Martial Arts.

Monday, April 02, 2007

The nature of knife wounds

I recently took part in a personal protection seminar for women and I used the case of “Mike”, my wife’s former coworker, as an example of the true nature of knife wounds.

Mike surprised their male servant ransacking their home. The assailant killed Mike with 36 stab wounds. A lot of them were defensive, on this forearms, but the frightening number of wounds would naturally make the average person conclude that the attacker was either crazed by extreme hate toward Mike or was so stoned out of his gourd.

As far as I know, the attacker – who later gave up to the police – was neither. He was close to Mike and his family and wasn’t on drugs. So why stab someone so many times?

I think the answer lies in how people think of stab wounds. We naturally think of them as instantly fatal, which isn’t always the case. It matters more where you get stabbed, not how many times you got wounded. A series of stabs that avoid arteries and major organs will do damage and will case shock and pain but it won’t be instantly fatal.

The wounds have to– as Kuya Doug of Rochester Kali puts it – “hit the body’s plumbing”. Hitting a major artery is more or less a fatal hit, and I’m not going to discuss precisely where these spots are on the body. As they say, a little knowledge can be dangerous. Suffice to say getting a major artery cut is serious. But people have recovered from them, if they get to a hospital emergency room in time. Unless you hit the body’s “main switches” (which will turn off the lights very quickly), the person stabbed has a chance to survive the attack.

Mike’s attacker obviously didn’t want him to live, choosing to add murder to a robbery charge. Understanding the nature of stab wounds, it’s now apparent that Mike’s killer kept stabbing until he got the result he wanted: Mike’s death. The first 5 stab wounds might not have dropped Mike and more were needed. Unfortunately for Mike, none of his first wounds were instantly fatal.

Mike’s death is more than an academic topic for me. I met him and he was a good friend of my wife. It’s tempting to go through the whole “what-ifs” on how he should have defended himself but that would be unfair to him. But I can use his example to teach people the nature of violence, and hopefully save lives.